You have learned what may happen when you give others your helping hand. The easiest reaction is blaming and never ever helping again. But the truth is that we need to do our homework first.
“Doing homework. Isn’t it enough I am just helping? I’m putting effort to comfort the other person”. You are right. But what guarantee have you got that your help will be efficient – just helping? Let’s check what else will increase the odds of your success.
When you want to find an attractive partner, you just look for him or her. At least checking around or on the dating websites. Even without the specific list of the ideal mate’s characters, you have some idea, who he or she should be. You can also believe in the “out of the blue hook”. All the above attitudes have one common feature: short-term oriented. What is the result?
The reality will verify your choice after the first stage of fascination. After the “honeymoon” the life seems to be more similar to business. At least in case of and work on your relationship (daily chores, communication, constant care of the other). Sometimes negotiations are needed, you cooperate in the team. Then it may turn out that you are not in the right team.Time has verified your decisions. If you have chosen the wrong partner for your team, you may have difficulties with helping him or her. Therefore, before even finding someone (which may help you to be happy) – you need to be aware of what you want.
The second issue to consider is who or what can help you in the field relationship. In most cases there are various experts eager to help you… when you pay for the service. You usually need them when the situation is critical instead of taking some action yourself – earlier. In most cases you have the necessary resources to do without professionals (sometimes just your friends are enough).
The third thing is taking action. It is not enough to do some research or even list your criteria and the ways used in emergency. Without using even one of them, you will not succeed. Do you remember my posts about goals, taking action and positive attitude? The rules discussed there also apply in case of relationships.
In order to help eficiently, you need to:
1.Know how, why, who and when,
2.Believe that it is worth the trouble and…
3.Ddo it.
Think for a while. Can you find a partner without positive attitude and without taking action? It is possible with having ho goals – I have mentioned it at the beginning of today’s post. Many people do seek short-term relationships. The same applies to helping your partner. If you don’t believe that your deed is accepted, if you don’t know how to help… or don’t help at all – nothing will happen.
I will tell you more about taking action in my next post. Today focus on your stating point – what you want to achieve and what resources you need to succeed.
How you you help your partner? How do you do your research to help efficiently? Share your views here and on The Winner’s Club. Have a nice day.
